1. |
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"HORACE (HE ATE COAL SHIT)"
Horace was a homeless man who ate his own coal shit. This is his anthem.
Horace's shit came out blacker than coal
And he ate it
He ate coal shit
He ate coal shit
He loved it, but I couldn't understand why
He ate coal shit
He ate coal shit
He ate it, but I couldn't understand why
'Cause that's black poop
'Cause that's black poop
'Cause that's black poop
'Cause that's black poop
Blacker than coal
Blacker than coal
Blacker than coal
Blacker than coal
And he ate it
He ate coal shit
He ate coal shit
He ate it, but I couldn't understand why
'Cause that's black poop
'Cause that's black poop
'Cause that's black poop
'Cause that's black poop
Horace was a homeless man
He ate his own coal shit
He ate that coal shit like it was candy
I couldn't understand why
That's fucking coal shit
That's fucking coal shit
That's fucking coal shit
That's fucking coal shit
That's fucking coal shit
That's fucking coal shit
That's fucking coal shit
That's fucking coal shit
That's fucking coal shit
That's fucking coal shit
That's fucking coal shit
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2. |
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"THERE ARE RAISINS IN MY TOAST"
Cover of a Waffle House song, done up in the lost ancient Chinese art of doo-wop.
Raisin (Raisin toast), raisin toast
Raisin (Raisin toast), raisin toast
There are raisins in my toast (Raisin toast)
There are raisins in my toast (Raisin toast at Waffle House)
I walked into the Waffle House and sat down at my seat
Looked the menu over while decided what to eat
Out came the little guys who winked at me and said:
"Be sure to choose the raisin toast they popped into the bread" (They sang out:)
There are raisins in my toast (Raisin toast)
There are raisins in my toast (Raisin toast at Waffle House)
Why don't you order? (You know we're good for you)
Why don't you order? (You know we taste great too)
Come on and order (We'll sing and dance for you)
Raisin toast is what we do
Raisin toast is what we do
Raisin toast is what we do (sing me some funky shit now)
Raisin toast is what we do
Raisin toast is what we do (turn me on now)
Raisin toast is what we do (get sexy, kids)
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3. |
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"THERE'S A GREAT BIG MOO MOO IN THE SKY (CALLED MOO MOO)"
Beatnik sermon touching on the subject of Ed Begley Junior.
There's a great big moo moo in the sky
Called Moo Moo
And Ed Begley Junior swears by it
Every single day
The holy Ed Begley Junior
Has given us the word
It says we're gonna pay a terrible price
Unless we listen to Ed Begley Junior
I don't know where he gets that stuff
About Moo Moo saving us
I don't care what Ed Begley Junior says
You might call me an agnostic
But I swear there ain't no Ed Begley Junior
I'm an Agnostic
Moo Moo, Moo Moo, Moo Moo
Moo Moo, Moo Moo
Ed Begley Junior, Ed Begley Junior, Ed Begley Junior
My 21 year old son is dating a 12 year old girl
And she says Ed Begley Junior is god
She just looks at me
With those innocent eyes
And says "daddy, I believe in Ed Begley Junior"
I believe in Ed Begley Junior
He walks on Moo Moo water
He turns the moon into Moo Moo
And if you're lost in the desert
Ed Begley Junior
Ed Begley Junior will guide you home
Ed Begley Junior saves, Ed Begley Junior saves
Ed Begley Junior saves me
Ed Begley Junior is god
Ed Begley Junior will save the world
But you better be good, for goodness sake
Ed Begley Junior is coming to town
He's making a list and he's checking it twice
He's gonna find out who's naughty and nice
He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good, for goodness sake
He's got an M14 rifle
And we're all on the frontline
It's so great to be alive
Ain't it great to be alive?
Ed Begley Junior is god, and I believe
I believe in Ed Begley Junior
Ed Begley Junior is god and I believe
[unintelligible bullshit]
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4. |
We Should All Eat Porken
02:03
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"WE SHOULD ALL EAT PORKEN"
Protest song advocating for the consumption of porken - and not beefen, oxen, or blocks.
We should all eat porken
We should eat porken right now
We should all eat porken
Not the beefen of a cow
Not the oxen of an ox
And definitely
Not blocks
We need to eat porken
It allow us to thinken
And to thinken
While thinking
As we thinken
You’ll like it I’m sure
So when you’re at the store
Grab yourself some more
And eat it all
Both big and small
It’s the besten
Yes that’s right folken
I ate the besten porken
Which is why it is so harden
To rhyme with porken
And the besten reason of all
To eat all of the porken
Before you go in the store
To eat more
When you are in the store
Both on the floor
Is the porken
And there is no other
Like porken
It’s a meaten
That’s so sweeten
Eat porken
Eat porken and not beefen
Sure porken may be a bit toughen
But beefen’s too beefen
And toughen is never a problemen
If you chew it
Yes you need to chew it
Not munch it
And definitely not punch it
But chew it
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Calvin Wilkerson Rochester, New York
weirdo from Rochester who does songs about sex, satan, and sonic the werehog
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